May 12th marked an important milestone: the CDC lifted all restrictions, stating that we are free to go out and mingle without masks and without having to mentally gauge the six foot margin of safety. But, somehow the anxiety of being exposed to the COVID-19 virus is still there. That and the fact that taking off the mask means having to apply more than just the eyebrows to the face in order to be “presentable”. I’m not ready to go “full frontal” without the mask yet! Mental health professionals have given a name to this anxiety: “Re-entry fear” or “Cave syndrome”. Over the past year I learned a hard truth about myself: I enjoy being a recluse. In addition, I feel like I have lost any social skills I may have once had. I found out that I am an introvert! Who knew?
My fear stems from the knowledge that without the protection of the mask barrier, I might have to make small talk with someone in the neighborhood or in Publix, bare-faced. Furthermore, I secretly dread returning to the social circle of friends to share Happy Hour or, god forbid, Trivia Night! The constraints of ZOOM and SKYPE feel safer than face-to-face meetings. In fact, the whole idea of “face time” with anyone, other than my husband, sends me into a mild panic. We have been in our “cave” together for about fourteen months. He has been brave enough to play golf three times a week with his life long golf buddies and even go to the gym, watching the regulars slowly return. Fortunately, I have never been a golfer, so not missing that. As for the gym, I bought a home rowing machine. I am quite content to be a “shut-in”. Not only that, the real clothes required to rejoin the tribe don’t even fit anymore!
Don’t get me wrong. I am delighted and relieved that our scientists broke all records in providing us with a proven vaccine. I was okay venturing out to uncharted land, the Callahan Fairgrounds twice, to receive my shots. I feel relatively safe. I think that businesses and workers are ready to reopen and put this past year in the rear view mirror. It has been awful; the death and tragedy has been epic. In our small community we have been spared and are extremely blessed. With caution, we can tentatively return to “normalcy”. Having schools reopen is a huge plus. Working mothers can return to their jobs. Day Care centers can safely accept their young charges and teachers can feel safe interacting with students in schools. Can we even be so brave to hope the worst is behind us? If those who are still vacillating about the efficacy or necessity of the vaccine can take the plunge, we can be closer to putting the COVID-19 into the historical category of smallpox and polio. Then we can get back to the new normal of waiting to see what next big thing will come along to drive us back into our caves! I am working hard to replace my dread of in person interactions with joy at the news that we can embrace life as it was pre-pandemic. Concours d’elegance 2021, Shrimp Festival, Sounds on Centre. Bring it on!
